


The Silver Stick

by Iola



Category: Dir en grey
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Crack, M/M, RPF, a surprising number of Dir en Grey jokes, really bad jokes, ridiculous stereotypes about bands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-19
Updated: 2012-12-18
Packaged: 2017-11-21 13:03:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/598078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iola/pseuds/Iola
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometime in the near future in the city of Kyoumeito....</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. No Rest for the Bishie

The Bishounen Keeper has launched her most nefarious scheme to date.

Oct 3rd 3:00 Dir En Grey practice:

Kyo was fast asleep on the ping pong table Toshiya was using to play against himself.

Shinya was hiding behind his drum set reading the latest Jpop news while Kaoru rehearsed his scowls in his mirror. Nothing amiss. The band suspected nothing. Until... "I hate to be the one to tell you, but Die has been kidnapped by The Bishounen Keeper." Tommy said tearfully.

"What do you mean?! He's six hours late, right on time!" Kaoru stared at their producer in shock.

Tommy handed the band the ransom note he had just received that simply said 'I have your guitarist. The smiley one. TBK'.

The band looked at each other before dashing to their trusty van, Kyo being lugged by the four of them. They arrived at Die's apartment finding it completely empty. No furniture, no piles of clothes, no empty liquor bottles. In fact if you looked carefully you would notice the walls and ceiling were missing too.

"Holy hair gel," Toshiya said, looking around. "Die cleaned up."

"No, I'm afraid not, Totchi. TBK pilfered Die's things. No doubt so she could make a habitat for him."

The band all turned to stare at the normally silent drummer. "I mean..." Shinya looked at his hands letting the band talk around him. This was serious, thought Shinya. If The Keeper was after jrockers there was no telling who would be next.


	2. Nobody Knows the Bishies I've Seen

When we last saw our bishounens they had learned that the delicious Die had been kidnapped, along with his apartment, by The Bishounen Keeper.

Die's apaato, 3:15:

Diru could handle interviews, fangirls, and grueling tours only breaking a very sexy sweat, but missing bandmates cracked even Kaoru's toughest sexy glare. It took only seconds for three Diru-ites to start in on each other.

Using the chaos as cover, Shinya slipped out for, unbeknownst to his bandmates, at night he was the Silver Stick.

Changing into his kaxxi superhero outfit, he used his Bishounen sense to locate The Keeper's lair. Using convenient hat stands, tall lamps, and pieces of bamboo, he managed to get all the way to Die's cage without being noticed by The Bishounen Keeper's fangirl minions. Before they could attack, Shinya leapt onto Die, tearing off his clothes.

The super fanservice attack was too much for the fangirls to handle. Weakened by their massive nosebleeds they collapsed en masse. Panting, Die murmured "Thank you Silver Stick. What can I ever do to thank you?"

Shinya grinned. "I'm sure if we work together Buckle Boy we'll come up with something."

Using his Freaky Incredible Strength, Shinya lifted Die into his arms and, just because they're that cool, they flew off together to their penthouse to figure it out.

Meanwhile...

Tommy had managed to find Die's other other hidden liquor stash and was betting with Toshiya whether Kyo's psycho convulsing fighting skills could win against a cracked Kaoru glare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hangs head in shame* The worst thing is I can't keep myself from laughing at this.


End file.
